JLA on Jury Duty
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: After a botched day at jury duty, Black Canary, Two-Face, Hippolyta, Huntress, Green Arrow, Lois, Vicki Vale, Zatanna, Robin, Wonder Woman and Selina are sent to law school to freshen up their criminology skills. Law school will never be the same ever again.
1. Chapter 1

**JLA on Jury Duty**

**I do not own Justice League. If I did, DC Comics would be making me a very rich man. This is a series I'm doing that involves mockery of the criminal justice, teachers with names that refer to sex jokes, frequent scenes of Black Canary sleeping, yada yada yada… ok, on with the first chapter!**

**Chapter 1: Beginning of the Initiation**

"Boy, I hate doing this on Wednesdays. The crowds are always stuffy, the defendants are so weird, there's no AC in this pigsty of a courtroom, and on top of that, Krypto is peeing on my leg!" Huntress snarled, about to smack the dog before Lois held Krypto back with the leash

"Helena, sweetie, remember our little chat about stress control?" Hippolyta reminded, Helena rolling her eyes. "Mmm… yes Mera, I'd love to date your sister online… for phone exchanges…" Dinah mumbled in her sleep, drooling on the courtroom bench.

"Dinah, wake up! These pants are expensive, you know!" Two-Face growled, shaking Dinah silly. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached the verdict?" the judge bellowed. Gulping, Two-Face stood up then after hiccupping; spoke "We have, milord."

"We, the jury, find the defendant, Mr. Herbert H. Nesbitt of Queensburg… er, wait, I had it at the top of our head…" Two-Face stammered, Helena groaning in boredom. "Harvey, we went over this! Just say it and we can get outta here!" Lois snarled

"Well, obviously Mr. Dent, you and your fellow colleagues have yet to understand the basics of criminal justice. I hereby sentence you and your colleagues to seventeen weeks at the Metropolis Law College where you will be taught, practiced, and instructed by the finest jurors to gain the concept of the criminal justice system." The judge announced, banging his gavel. "What was that? It's so squishy!" Dinah babbled, rising up.

"We're going to law school, Dinah. This windbag of a judge here thinks we're not qualified for being a jury!" Green Arrow remarked, Two-Face snorting. "watch the remarks, pal. I'll have you know I graduated Harvard and Westpoint even **before** I got my lawyer's license!" Two-Face grumbled

Later…

"Welcome to the Metropolis College University of Criminal Justice where we train the fresh young minds of today into the most professional, qualified and upstanding lawyers and attorneys of tomorrow. Now I see we have some new students. Mr. Harvey Dent, I presume?" The dean asked, Two-Face shaking her hand

"It's an honor to be here, Ms. Ore-Chasm. I'll have you know that I **am** a district attorney and that I have five graduate diplomas from Harvard to prove it." Two-Face spoke, handing Ms. Ore-Chasm the diplomas.

"Mr. Dent, you and your siblings or should I say colleagues, will be occupying the luxury suite up in the western north corridor. It is for astounding soon to be lawyers like yourself, and I trust you will enjoy your first term." Ms. Ore-Chasm replied

"Ms. Ore-Chasm, Ms. Va-Ja-Jay and Ms. Buxom Beauty are here for their qualifying exam." A peppy secretary announced

"Thank you Ms. Lez-Been, I will be there shortly. Goodnight, Mr. Dent. I will see you and your siblings first thing tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. Be at my office for the initiations at 3 am sharp!" Ms. Ore-Chasm barked, as she headed out the door.

"Dude, what happened with your face?" a platinum blonde student asked. "I, er, I fell down some stairs." Two-Face replied sheepishly, as he walked into the elevator and pressed the up button for the luxury suite floor.

"Nice suit. Is it Gucci or Armani?" a blonde socialite asked, as Two-Face was browsing through the newspaper. "Um… Armani. Definitely Armani." Two-Face quickly answered. "Good. My lesbian lover has an Armani sleepwear she wears. I think it makes her look absolutely sexy." the socialite responded, Two-Face groaning to himself, wondering why he always got mixed with the weird people

Later…

"My, this bed is comfy! Oh, I could just sleep here for days!" Zatanna gasped, relaxing as she snuggled into the queen size bed. "Don't get too comfy, girlie. I called dibs on it first." Vicki teased, sticking out her tongue

"Aw, cant we just sleep in it together?" Zatanna begged, Vicki thinking about the offer before nodding. "Sure, why not? I could use a little snooze after the long bus ride here." Vicki yawned, snuggling next to the mistress of magic.

"Vicki…" Zatanna asked sleepily, Vicki nodding. "Did you touch yourself again?" Zatanna asked before nodding off.

"There you are Harvey, darling! Where in Heaven's name have you been?" Hippolyta asked, rocking Dinah to sleep in her rocking chair as a haggard Two-Face entered. "Don't bother Hippolyta. I've been hounded by these crazy sorority women. I think one of 'em slipped their bras down my pants!" Two-Face remarked

"Hmm, I see. Well do me a favor and go fix some dinner while I put miss Dinah to bed." Hippolyta spoke, grunting as she scooped up a snoozing Dinah in her arms and carried her off. "sweet dreams. I love you, have a good sleep." Hippolyta cooed, closing the door quietly after tucking Dinah into bed.

"Ok, the kids are all sleeping… so maybe you and me can get it on?" Hippolyta suggested, Two-Face's eyes widening. "Is-Is this a trick question?" Two-Face stammered as Hippolyta undid her nightgown and revealed her bare breasts and her sex. "c'mon Harvey, the kids wont even know. They know how much their mommy loves to make out with the men in her life." Hippolyta crooned, pulling Two-Face over to her lips. Drawn to her beauty, the multiple personality attorney had no choice but to embrace his lover's invitation of pleasure. After a while, both were unclothed, naked, and laying on the queen size mattress in Hippolyta's room.

"Harvey… was that good enough for you?" Hippolyta asked, yawning as she woke up. "It was damn good, still wish I had shaved before we got started." Two-Face grunted.

"Mom! Get in here, Green Arrow's locked himself in the bathroom again!" Huntress shouted, Hippolyta putting on her nightgown. "Coming, sweetheart!" Hippolyta chimed, Two-Face exhaling as he sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.

_Then again, this law school thing might not be a bad idea after all…_ Two-Face thought with a knowing grin on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**JLA on Jury Duty**

**Chapter 2: Law and Order, This Ain't**

"Dinah! Dinah, wake up!" Selina hissed, shaking Dinah's shoulder like crazy. The blonde beauty was in a deep sleep, softly snoring in her bed. "It's ok Selina sweetie, we can carry her. Now come on kids, we're going to be late." Hippolyta ordered, Mera picking up Dinah as they rushed down to Ms. Ore-Chasm's office.

"Ah good, you're all here. Fabulous, I had never doubted your timing for a minute. Please, take a seat." Ms. Ore-Chasm replied, pouring herself a cup of coffee as she sat down on the desk. Two-Face and the others sat down.

"Now, the judge has told me of your incompetence at the jury duty session yesterday and… oh yes, that your sister Ms. Lance was seen humping a chair naked in the women's lavatories. Is there an explanation for this?" Ms. Ore-Chasm asked, applying her lipstick.

"Um, frankly, ma'am, my sister is a little crazy. I mean, she's a bit of a fun-loving girl, but you know… what with her being engaged to me and all…" Helena replied, chuckling nervously as Dinah moaned something to Hippolyta.

"What did you need, honey? You want me to hold you?" Hippolyta whispered, Dinah tiredly nodding. "Ok, come here baby girl." Hippolyta cooed, cradling Dinah in her arms as she laid her head on Hippolyta's shoulder.

"Excuse me, Ms. Prince? Is there something wrong with your daughter?" Ms. Ore-Chasm asked, Hippolyta shaking her head. "Of course not. She's just sleeping. She's a very tired little girl. But on most common days, Dinah is wide awake for any classes." Hippolyta explained

"She isn't buying it." Robin quietly hissed, Two-Face smacking him up the head. "Shush!" Two-Face snarled

"Ms. Prince, we are a very professional law academy. We do absolutely **not** allow our students to sleep through the qualified classes, but we do allow them to rest during the annual lectures and the press conferences. Now, my next concern is; are you sure you're physically fit for this, Mr. Dent?" Ms. Ore-Chasm added, Two-Face nodding.

"So be it. Your first class is with Ms. Domina-Trix at 6:00 AM. If I were you, I'd retreat back to your home and get some sleep before entering for first hour. Is that clear?" Ms. Ore-Chasm barked, everyone nodding. "Good. Pleasant dreams, my new subjects." Ms. Ore-Chasm crooned, spraying them with knockout gas.

"what… what the?" Vicki yawned, hearing the cackle from Ms. Ore-Chasm. "shhh… sweet dreams…" Ms. Ore-Chasm teased, a bone-chilling smile on her lips as Vicki's world went black…

**Later…**

"Wake up. Wake up, my little sleepyheads. C'mon, rise and shine." Ms. Domina-Trix cooed, shaking Hippolyta's shoulder, only to get the sounds of snoring. "well obviously our new students are sleeping like babies. Let that be an example of absorbing knowledge while in the subconscious state. Now if you'll turn to page 34 of our submission dictionary…" Ms. Domina-Trix ordered, the students obeying… except for Hippolyta and the others.

"oohhh… what the hell happened last night?" Two-Face mumbled, opening his eyes to see a tall, platinum blonde woman in her early twenties wearing a silver lined skintight suit, with high heel stiletto shoes, long purple silk gloves and a canister of knockout gas in her hand. "good morning Mr. Dent. I trust Ms. Ore-Chasm gave you a nice morning's rest before you entered, ja?" Ms. Domina-Trix spoke in a Germanic accent

"um… yeah. But listen, what did you do to them?" Two-Face asked, shaking Vicki repeatedly. "mmm… five more minutes Harvey…" Vicki yawned in her sleep. "I think they'll be just fine. They're sleeping off all the chloroform Ms. Ore-Chasm injected them with. But in the meantime, do try to keep your eyes open and pay attention." Ms. Domina-Trix replied, cracking her whip, as the students stood up.

"Good work. Now time for my favorite part… erotic law hypnosis." Ms. Domina-Trix hissed slyly, her green eyes glinting. "WHAT?" Two-Face gasped, astonished. "Shhh!" Ms. Domina-Trix shushed, spraying him but Two-Face ducked. "ah, an athlete by trade. How fulfilling. Courtney, Columbia, please restrain Mr. Dent so he doesn't resist the initiation." Ms. Domina-Trix ordered as two hypnotized blonde women held Two-Face by the knees whilst Dinah crept up behind Ms. Domina-Trix, hiding a chloroform rag behind her arm.

"Sorry babe… You're not my type." Dinah coolly replied, covering Ms. Domina-Trix with the rag while Two-Face knocked out Courtney and Columbia, while Hippolyta lulled the girls to sleep with her siren harp.

"This was a setup from the beginning! Ms. Ore-Chasm had the judge in her pocket so she could send us here and try to make us her slaves!" Two-Face growled, as Helena yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"No kidding." Robin deadpanned, as he reprogrammed Ms. Domina-Trix's brain control while Hippolyta, Two-Face and the others did the same. After a while, Ms. Domina-Trix began to stir.

"oh my head… what? Where am I?" Ms. Domina-Trix asked sleepily, coming to. "Take it easy cutie, you're one of the good girls now." Huntress cooed, kissing Ms. Domina-Trix on the cheek. "My saviors! I am at the service of your benevolence, my lords and ladies!" Ms. Domina-Trix boasted, bowing down before them

"whoa. She can act pretty good, don't you think?" Robin commented, Two-Face nudging him to shut up with his elbow. "Ok Ms. Domina-Trix, where's Ms. Ore-Chasm?" Black Canary asked

"Ms. Ore-Chasm is in her Control Cock Tower, but it's far from the University. If we're going to free the students from Ms. Ore-Chasm's control, we'll need to drug and re-brainwash her secretaries so they'll work for **us**, instead of her." Ms. Domina-Trix explained, the heroes nodding.

"Sounds thrilling to me. Who do we start with first?" Green Arrow asked. "Ms. Va-Jay-Jay and Ms. Va-Gina. They're both pretty easy and heavy sleepers, I might add. I drugged their coffee an hour ago, they'll be knocked out for **hours**." Ms. Domina-Trix commented

"Good! Then that's what we'll start with first!" Hippolyta ordered "C'mon kids, we've got work to do!" Hippolyta crooned, the students awakening and headed out with their new masters.

**At the West Wing…**

"Have you taken care of Mr. Dent and his companions, Ms. Va-Gina? I trust they are in a deep slumber thanks to my ultra-instant chloroform gas." Ms. Ore-Chasm wondered as Ms. Va-Gina sucked her thumb while sleeping. Ms. Va-Jay-Jay was snoring on the floor, drooling on the linoleum. Neither one of them noticed Hippolyta and the heroes enter

"aw, look kids, they're dreaming. Oh, that's so cute." Hippolyta cooed, taking pictures of the snoozing femme fatales. Black Canary quietly tip-toed over to Ms. Va-Gina and after making sure she was really sleeping, Dinah began re-programming her brain to JLA brain control while Huntress did the same to Ms. Va-Jay-Jay.

"oh my… what a great nap, I haven't slept that long since I was little and…" Ms. Va-Gina yawned, opening her eyes to see Two-Face leaning over her. "Morning sunshine." Hippolyta chimed, as Robin helped Ms. Va-Gina up while Ms. Va-Jay-Jay woke up as well

"Wow. For a minute, both Ms. Va-Gina and me thought we were promising lesbian cops but after Ms. Ore-Chasm brainwashed us and made us wear these slutty clothes…" Ms. Va-Jay-Jay explained as Hippolyta hugged her. "shhh… it's ok pumpkin… Auntie Hippolyta will take care of you, ok? You can call me Mommy if you want." Hippolyta added, kissing Ms. Va-Jay-Jay on the cheek.

"well before we go after Ms. Ore-Chasm and her henchwomen… let's get some shut-eye. I am just exhausted." Lady Blackhawk replied tiredly, as Ms. Va-Gina tucked her into bed. "don't worry guys. We'll keep watch while you get some sleep." Ms. Domina-Trix added as Hippolyta rocked Dinah to sleep.

"Mommy?" Dinah asked sleepily. "Yes sweetie?" Hippolyta answered. "will we ever see Croc and the others again?" Dinah wondered, worried about her JLA friends in the Watchtower. "of course we will honey. Now close your eyes and go nighty-night. It's past your bedtime." Hippolyta cooed, kissing Dinah's forehead as Dinah sucked her thumb until she fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**JLA on Jury Duty**

**Chapter 3: Beauties, Breasts, and Bondage, Oh My!**

"Ok, this is Ms. Les-Bien and Ms. Dyke's office. I drugged their Colombian coffee this morning, so they'll be napping for quite some time while we un-brainwash and re-brainwash them." Ms. Domina-Trix ordered as her, Hippolyta, Two-Face and the heroes entered the room.

Ms. Les-Bien was sleeping in her chair, sucking her thumb in her sleep while using her coat as a blanket, Ms. Dyke was softly snoring on her office table, drooling on her documents. "Geez, how much did you use to conk these two dames out?" Huntress whispered

"It took a lot of work. Now quiet, before they wake up!" Ms. Va-Gina hissed, as she and Dinah crawled over to where Ms. Les-Bien was sleeping. "mommy?" Ms. Les-Bien mumbled in her sleep, one eye open. Huntress and Dinah hid behind the desk. Ms. Les-Bien shrugged, sucked her thumb again and drifted off to sleep. "whew, that was a close shave!" Dinah exhaled, Ms. Domina-Trix stroking Ms. Les-Bien's silky blonde hair. "aw, you're so pretty when you're sleeping. Peaceful as a baby." Ms. Domina-Trix cooed, placing the JLA brain control programmer on her forehead while Two-Face did the same to Ms. Dyke.

"Ok, it's done. They should wake up soon." Ms. Va-Gina exhaled, as Ms. Les-Bien slowly stirred, yawning loudly. "oh man, what a lovely nap. I haven't had that much sleep since I was a year old." Ms. Les-Bien yawned before eyeing Two-Face for the first time. "am I dreaming, or is there a sexy Amazon goddess before me?" Ms. Les-Bien asked as Hippolyta hugged her

"No sweetie, you're wide awake and you're much happier now, that you and your lesbian lover/coworker are both at my service." Hippolyta crooned, Ms. Dyke and Ms. Les-Bien hugging each other. "I'm sorry I neglected you all those times while Ms. Ore-Chasm had me under her control." Ms. Les-Bien explained. "and I'm sorry I made fun of your teddy bear nightgown." Ms. Dyke commented

"Ok, we got that settled. Now what?" Huntress asked before the clacking of high heels echoed through the halls. "Oh crap! It's Ms. Buxom Beauty! Quick, you guys hide in the closet! I'll knock her out, don't make a sound!" Ms. Domina-Trix ordered, rushing the heroes into the closet.

"But-but I wanna go with you!" Dinah whined, Ms. Domina-Trix gently nodding and hugged her. "Ok sweetie, you can come with me. But you've got to stay asleep this time. If she sees you waking up, she'll spray you again. Ok?" Ms. Domina-Trix instructed, Dinah nodding. "Ok." Dinah answered. "good, I'll wake you up as soon as it's over. Ok, sweet dreams." Ms. Domina-Trix cooed, kissing Dinah goodnight as Dinah drifted off to sleep.

"I could've sworn I heard snoring in here…" Ms. Buxom Beauty assumed, opening the door to the office. She tip-toed across the floor, looking for her colleagues. Ms. Domina-Trix slowly covered up Dinah with a linen blanket. "just keep sleeping, I'll be back." Ms. Domina-Trix whispered, kissing Dinah on the cheek as she snuck up behind Ms. Buxom Beauty.

"Ok big girl, time for your beauty nap!" Ms. Domina-Trix chimed, tying Ms. Buxom Beauty with a knockout spray ball gag. "mmrrff!" Ms. Buxom Beauty groaned, before slowly sucking on the ball and her eyes slowly closed. "shhhh… sweet dreams pumpkin… you're going to be a good little girl from now on…" Ms. Domina-Trix cooed, gently laying Ms. Buxom Beauty down on the couch as she got the programmer out and did it while Dinah slowly woke up.

"hey. How'd you sleep?" Ms. Domina-Trix asked teasingly. "I slept like a baby, Ms. Domina-Trix. Is she under our thrall yet?" Dinah asked. "Almost… and now she is!" Ms. Va-Jay-Jay replied, slowly pinching Ms. Buxom Beauty's cheek. "Wake up little sleepyhead, naptime's over!" Ms. Va-Gina announced, Ms. Buxom Beauty opening her eyes.

"wow… just seems like yesterday I was a single stay-at home lesbian who's five weeks pregnant… now, now I'm a superheroine, like my new friends here. And together, we're gonna make Ms. Ore-Chasm see the errors of her ways!" Ms. Buxom Beauty vowed, as a haze of green smoke appeared.

"so… you may have outwitted and de-brainwashed my slut slaves, but you'll never stop me! Now bow to me, so I can put you meddling heroic brats to sleep **FOREVER!**" Ms. Ore-Chasm roared, cackling maniacally.

"Nobody talks like that to my friends, you bitch!" Ms. Domina-Trix growled, kneeing Ms. Ore-Chasm in the groin. "OOF! Ohhh… oh no, no… I can't… I must stay… awake…" Ms. Ore-Chasm moaned, yawning as she strained to stand up.

"Dinah? Care to finish it off?" Ms. Va-Gina replied, Dinah stepping up. "with pleasure." Dinah boasted, planting a tongue kiss on Ms. Ore-Chasm. Ms. Ore-Chasm's eyes rolled up into the back of her head until she began to snore.

"aw… you're so pretty… I'm going to make you my slave." Ms. Domina-Trix cooed, as she watched Ms. Ore-Chasm snore and dream. "Ah-*HEM*" Two-Face barked, Ms. Domina-Trix looking at the heroes who were staring at her.

"Hehe… sorry. Let me reprogram this naughty little girl then we can get out of here and get back at that rotten judge!" Ms. Domina-Trix replied, as Courtney, Colombia, and the students burst in.

"what happened? We all fell asleep for like several hours and… we woke up with no memory." Courtney responded. "I'll tell you." Ms. Ore-Chasm commented, waking up as she stood. "The judge brainwashed me and my lesbian sisters to act as child/heroine traffickers for his corrupt jury." Ms. Ore-Chasm explained before embracing Hippolyta. "But thanks to my new friends here, we have the Watchtower as our new home!"

**Back at the Watchtower…**

"so let me get this straight… this judge sent you to this law school which was a brainwashing centre for lesbian criminals. So you guys went into said law school, outsmarted and reprogrammed said criminals, and you also dropped an anvil on the judge's head." Batman explained flatly, Hippolyta, Two-Face, Wonder Woman, Ms. Ore-Chasm and the girls nodding.

"well, I think we all learned something out of this!" Green Arrow replied. "and what was that, Ollie?" Ms. Domina-Trix asked. "I… I forgot." Green Arrow added, everyone cracking up.

**Later that night…**

"and they all lived happily ever after, the end." Hippolyta spoke, closing the book as Dinah, Huntress, Ms. Ore-Chasm and the girls were tucked into bed.

"Gosh that was such a great story! I haven't heard a good bedtime story since I was a little girl!" Ms. Domina-Trix piped up, cuddling up next to her plush giraffe. "Yes, it's a very special time for me. But right now children, it's time to go nighty-night. Now give Mommy a kiss goodnight." Hippolyta cooed, as she kissed and hugged the girls.

"Ok goodnight my little angels, sweet dreams. I'll see you bright in the morning. Don't forget to use the baby monitor if you need me, ok?" Hippolyta asked, the girls sleepily nodding. Hippolyta smiled as she turned off the lights.

"Ok, goodnight. Mommy loves you." Hippolyta whispered, blowing them a kiss as she closed the door. "goodnight guys. You're the best friends I could ever ask for." Ms. Ore-Chasm yawned, as she closed her eyes.

"but seriously, what really happened with…" Zatanna asked, as Vicki shushed her, pointing to Dinah and the others as they were sound asleep. Hippolyta opened the door and peeked in to see if the girls were ok. She smiled lovingly as they were soundly snoring in their beds, sleeping like the lovely angels that they were.

"shhhh… Goodnight kids. Sleep sweetly, my babies. I'll see you in the morning." Hippolyta whispered, closing the door.


End file.
